Come To Me

Ever feel like the weight of the whole world has fallen on your shoulders?

No matter what you do to lift the load, something else falls into its place.

I’ve felt like that lately. Between my personal obligations, school, family, church, and trying to maintain a social life, it feels as if there is no end to my long to do list. I can see that light at the end of the tunnel but no matter how hard I try, I can’t quite reach it.

I’ve sacrificed my time and devoted it to many things that can be good but are not the best things for me to be focusing on at the moment. Socializing both online or in person, Pinterest, and the CollegePlus forum, all have their place, but they shouldn’t take time away from my studies, church, family, and my Lord. The time I have with God has really been sporadic lately since I haven’t been consistent with my daily Bible reading and quiet times. If I do happen to do them, they are often rushed so I can hurry on to the next thing on my schedule.

So what do I do about it all? I punish myself for it.
You wasted an entire day doing nothing! How are you going to make up for it?
You didn’t even try to study today! You need to focus more!
You stayed up late again which means you’ll be late waking up again. Do you really care about all the things you need to do?

I’m constantly in a battle with myself. Mostly between my Perfectionist side and my procrastinating side. I set out to complete a task perfectly. If something happens where I get distracted or the result is nowhere near the standards I set for myself, procrastination kicks in.

It’s already ruined, why bother?
You’ve been working so hard lately. Maybe all you need is a break.

(After an hour “break” on the Internet)
Well, you’ll never get anything done if you start now. Might as well wait until tomorrow.

And that’s how it usually happens. I can start my day (or week, or month) with the best intentions, but by lunchtime I’ve only succeeded in reading my Facebook timeline or adding to my Pinterest boards. The next day I promise myself I’ll do better…only to fail once again. I was feeling like that yesterday until a Jamie Grace song popped into my head.

I woke up to the weight of the world
Right back into reality
And all that’s going wrong
Cause in the midst of this chaotic life
I try to find peace of mind
But you’ve been there all along
And even I hear You whisper

Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden…

excerpt from “Come to Me” by Jamie Grace

Of all the times I’d heard that song, it had never meant much to me. I’ve always heard “Cast your burdens on the Lord” and other similar phrases but after a while they start to seem cliché.

Okay so I’m supposed to just cast all my burdens on Him…Then what?
Do I just forget about my ever-growing to do list because He’s going to pick it up?

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting  God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the  faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;   they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be  weary; they shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:28-31

For me, that verse means that yes, I have a myriad of things I need to do. Yes, I might have a couple of times where I end up on Pinterest instead of the Learning Network, yes, I might have a few days where I want to scream until I’m hoarse. But in all that, God will be there. He will give me the strength to study as well as the will to say no to procrastination. But there’s a catch.

I have to let Him be there. Like Psalm 145:18 says,

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.

I can’t change my procrastinating ways alone. My personal resolve won’t last. I’ll do well for some time but then there will be something that grabs my attention in my email, on Facebook, Pinterest, etc. I’ll spend a few minutes checking it out, those few minutes will turn into an hour, that hour will turn into two, and so on. Then I’ll feel discouraged because I spent the rest of my day on a distraction when everything had started so smoothly.

I can only end this cycle with God’s help. I cannot however, throw everything to the wind and say, “God will take care of this”. I still have my responsibilities that I need to keep. I need to set goals in place and ask my parents and CollegePlus coach to help keep me accountable. I don’t have to do this alone. I can rely on God to give me strength when mine is weakening (and Pinterest starts calling my name).

To start, I need to consistently get into His Word. In it I’ll find all the encouragement and strength I need. Second, I need to pray and act on those prayers. I can’t just pray, “Please help me get up on time so I can get everything completed tomorrow,” and stay on Pinterest past midnight. If I want to do better, I need to make sure I am willing to change. What’s the use of asking God to take my burdens to help me get to the top of the hill when I’m still at the bottom playing in the dirt?

I will always have things I need to do. My to do list could be five pages long. The question isn’t whether or not those things will get done but whether or not I’m willing to do the necessary work to complete them. If I am, the Lord will help me and He’ll be there when everything seems to be going 200 miles an hour. However, none of those things will matter much if I don’t consistently prioritize and spend quality time with Him or His Word. My goal is to do better this week, but not on my own strength.

I’m really thankful that encouragement can come in the form of a Jamie Grace song. 🙂

I feel the weight, I feel the weight is slowly liftin’
As you close the distance
And I know, it’s gonna be okay when I hear you say

Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’m gonna carry your burden…

The weight is lifted now.

~La’Tia~

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